human-centipede-3.jpgThe Human Centipede 3: Final Sequence (2015)

“Jesus Christ. I fuckin’ told you these movies would be shit and they are pure shit literary. They Stink!”

I’m a big fan of the first two films in the series with two being my favourite so I was looking forward to Tom Six’s grande finale.

Bringing back Akihiro Kitamura and Dieter Laser from the first film and Laurence R. Harvey from the second who is also about to appear in a remake of the original The Boogey Man (1980) didn’t hurt too.

Set in a prison, Dieter plays warden Bill Boss with Laurence as his accountant Dwight Butler and porn star Bree Olsen as harassed assistant Daisy showing Sasha Grey that it helps if you act when in a mainstream film.

So things aren’t going well at the prison. Violence and retention rates are so unacceptably high that Governor Hughes played by Eric Roberts is about to fire them unless they sort things out.
First thing the warden tries is castration which doesn’t work so eventually he decides to give Dwight’s idea of copying both the Human Centipede films a go and calls in the films director Tom Six for advice.

They take the prisoners and link them up arse to mouth in a 500 long chain but this only happens an hour into the film and takes up probably 10 minutes of screen time.

The previous hour is full on Dieter running around screaming foul nonsense and lots of pointless random crap.
Granted I’ve never seen a German that animated before but at times I couldn’t understand what he was saying because of the shouting and his German accent.
As for Lawrence he was under-utilised if you ask me.

It claims to be 100% politically incorrect humour and it very well might be but the humour isn’t that funny and the film is more interested in trying to gross you out or be offensive that it ends up not being so.

The first two films had impact and the decision to have the second be the polar opposite to the first whilst treating the first in that it is nothing more than a film that serves to offer inspiration for Laurence’s character was a stroke of genius.
The same happens here with both the first films being treated as movies and serving inspiration for Dieter doesn’t work just like everything else going on.

By the time we get to why we are watching it it goes by so fast and is handled like everything in the first hour that not only does it lack impact but it is almost as if it’s an hastily added ending rather than the purpose of the film.

Such a mess from start to finish that I suggest you watch this parody starring Bree Olson instead.
But see the first two, they’re really very good.