Time.. it’s our most precious commodity. Intelligent people know this and know how to spend it wisely.

That’s why you’d be forgiven for believing that a Golden Globe nominated psychological thriller staring Oscar winner Tilda Swinton might be a good way to spend it.

Oh how wrong I was.

There’s nothing I hate more than my time being wasted; by books, movies.. yes even people. Especially people. Nothing sends me into a rage faster.

And it is in a rage that I write this review.

With glorious and glowing reviews from all corners of the corporate media, ‘We need to talk about Kevin’ sounds like my kind of movie.

Mark Kermode proclaimed it to be “the best film of 2011” – high praise indeed.

Ah but wait, the BBC are involved in this shitheap of a film and who does Kermode work for again? Oh yes the BBC.

He’s talking out of his arsehole.

Oh, and before I forget.. to save you time I’m going to straight-up state that you should not waste your time on this movie, and as a result of that, this review contains spoilers.

Repeat. Spoilers ahead. 

Straight away we know what’s happening.

A massacre of some kind. There are wounded teenagers, the occasional arrow is seen sticking out of bloody bodies. It’s obviously a high school massacre.

Interesting concept granted. But for the next 80 minutes (yes I counted) we are told repeatedly, painstakingly, to the absolute point of boredom that as a young child Kevin did not get on with his mother.

We move from one incredibly mundane scene to the next, if it’s Kevin destroying his mother’s wall decorations to blackmailing her for breaking his arm (really not as exciting as that sounds), we spend almost and hour and a half waiting for the movie to get to the point.

And then after 80 long, tortuous minutes it appears that things are about to pick up.

We are approaching the moment we’ve been waiting for, the point; the massacre.

Oh boy! This better be worth all the built up.

But alas, the scene we’ve all been waiting for is nothing short of a disappointment. We see Kevin using the bow and arrow, we see him aim the arrow and pull back on the bow string, over and over.. aim and shoot, aim and shoot, but not once do we see an arrow pierce flesh.

We see nothing but Kevin pose with his bow and arrow. No carnage. No victims. No gore.

And perhaps worst of all, absolutely no explanation as to why he committed this crime in the first place.

There is so much fluff in here and almost nothing of substance. It feels like it’s trying to kill time for the first 80 minutes and then deliver a “shocking twist” – one which you already know is coming from the opening scene. It’s only saving grace is that the story could be a good one, if edited and scripted differently.

Even in a scene where Kevin destroys his mothers computer she asks “what was the point of doing that?”, his response; “maybe there is no point”.

And I feel that sentiment reflects the movies as a whole perfectly.

There is no point. And there’s very little to enjoy from ‘We Need To Talk About Kevin’ on any level.

Don’t bother, this movie is a complete waste of time and a snoozefest. It was not meant for us.